Okay, this is happening so very fast. I mean time was creeping by it seemed leading up to my last two transfers. Now, things are happening so very quickly!
I opened my inbox and there was my protocol from Katie, my nurse, from the NEDC. I cannot believe I need to call and schedule my ultrasound appointments, order my box of medications, and type up my dosing chart to hang in the bathroom. I am still shaking my head as I type this!
Exciting, for sure, but lots of butterflies are included as well! There are so many thoughts running through my head. I read on a fellow EA cycle momma’s blog recently about feeling detached after so much loss going through EA and that post has stuck with me. Am I truly busy with all the kiddos this summer and our back to school prep or am I, in a way, “detaching” myself from the possible pain and loss after going through 2 miscarriages with EA in the last 5 months?
This is definitely something I need to consider. Because although the latter would be understandable, it would not be what I need to do. I need to trust the Lord and not be fearful. I need to be humbled that the Lord chose us even one more time to adopt little babies from the freezer once again. I need to approach this adoption like all the others. These are little lives who Rhea and I already love. I need to look forward to our “Gotcha Day” just as I would if we were going to fly to bring home our child from China. So, whether I am just very busy or whether I am truly distancing myself from this upcoming FET to protect emotions, either way, it’s time I focus on my body and preparing it to receive our new babies and surrendering my fears and anxiety to the Lord. He will carry me through!