Monthly Archives: June 2013
Okay, I have lived in the Houston area most of my life and I am still not used to the intense summer heat and humidity we live through each year. Maybe it is equal to someone who lives in frigid areas and they are not used to the bone chilling cold winters they experience?
Not a lot of outside activities here unless they involve water, sunscreen, and breaks in the a/c when I have littles around! Some of the kiddos are hitting the books while the heat is intense in the afternoons to get caught up or work ahead in their studies. Others are working on money making ventures. Some are doing both!
I have been planning their studies for next year. Levi will be starting his sophomore year of high school and is determined to graduate a year early and take dual credits through CLEPs and our local community college. So, there is planning involved for me there. Elizabeth starts Kindergarten and is anxious to read, so I have been working with her this summer on different activities. Sarah, oh my, she keeps us busy. She loves science especially. You know, experiments like:
- What will happen if I suck and eat toothpaste out of the tube? (flouride free natural kind–but still!!)
- What will happen if I take all the paper napkins I can and shove them in a full glass of water my sister left on the table?
- What will happen if I get into Mommy’s purse and pull everything out super fast while trying to find her mint container before she sees me?
- What will happen if I get my stool and climb on the counter and turn on the water to wash my hands and the rest of my body and clothes and floor?
- What will happen if I get the graham cracker bunnies out of the pantry and go sit under the table to eat them?
- What will happen if I finger paint with daddy’s shaving cream?
- What will happen if I color with red pen all over brother’s school papers?
- What will happen if I open the 1 qt jar of baby wipe solution and put my arm in it and slosh all the water and soap all around?
Our miscarriage started late Tuesday night and continued for a few days. This was our 8th miscarriage and being that I was just into the 5th week of pregnancy, I didn’t expect the miscarriage to be as serious in the pain and intensity category as it was. It was, but with some Floradix iron supplement, a bit of couch time, and some good strong coffee to help the two day migraine, I moved through the physical part of this okay. The mourning truly came the weekend before and by the time the miscarriage started, I was in a better place, though still grieving. We have had many friends send us cards, emails, and texts to help us through this time. We had a friend bring dinner on just the “perfect” day. We had an invite for dinner that I almost cancelled because I felt weak, but now I am so glad I went. I had a friend go with me to run some errands and it was good to get out of the house and focus on other things and spend time with her and her girls. The Lord used all of these people to help me/us heal. The Lord has been so very gracious to lead us through this time surrounding us with people to love on us and encourage us in the Word.
We will be going to Knoxville one last time in September. We are looking forward to our trip to the NEDC. Our children have all mourned their siblings leaving this earth each in their own way, but all of them are in agreement and are in full encouragement daily about us going back in September to adopt more babies.
We are healing and looking forward at the same time. It is a good place to be. Our Lord has been so faithful to us. We are surrounded with blessings!
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful comments and letting us know you have been thinking of us and have been praying for our family.
I am still waiting for the miscarriage to start. I went off the meds on Friday evening and everything was supposed to get started in 3-5 days. So, today is day 4 and I have no signs of cramping or anything. So, I will take this all as graciousness from our Lord and I have been using my days to spend time with the littles doing “little” things and spending time with the olders planning their studies and activities for the coming academic year.
My appointment with Dr. K was yesterday afternoon. He said that he would like to see us back in September and they would be holding a spot for us. Rhea and I will be looking through the donor profiles we have been sent by the NEDC and be prayerfully considering the next little ones the Lord intends for us to adopt. I will be 46 in October, so according to NEDC guidelines I must have my final transfer with their program before I turn 46. So, that leaves the September transfer cycle as the one we will be need to be a part of. I will save my life as an “older” momma for another post as I have been asked since I have given birth to two kiddos post 40. : )
Besides giving my body time to regroup after two back to back transfers and miscarriages, having a couple of months to fund this next transfer will be nice to have. Thankfully, this adoption/transfer we will only need $6,000. This is the smallest amount we have needed to date. You all know me and our family. We will work hard to raise money. It’s a little too early for pumpkin bread, but I bet our kiddos will be thinking of something.
It has been difficult at times to jump forward while still mourning and reflecting on our 8 little ones, but we rejoice that their souls have been released from their frozen state. Six of them grew and grew even for a couple of short weeks before leaving this earth. All eight of them we hold great hope are all in heaven right now surrounded by beautiful praises and song for eternity. What joy that picture brings my heart.
Even with the pain, I am ever so grateful that our Lord has chosen us to parent these special babies who are frozen. God doesn’t tell us how long we will have with any of them. We make ourselves available to our Lord. We are obedient to His call to adopt those who may not be with us very long at all. We realize even more the miracle our Sarah Faith truly is.
We have Room for More if that is His will. We have Room for More, however long He calls us to parent any of the children he has entrusted to our care living in our home or in the womb. We have Room for More in our home, whether through adoption, our children marrying, our grandchildren & through opening our home to our family, friends, and those the Lord brings our way.
September will be the end of our EA journey. It may end in miscarriage once again. It may end much more differently than that. We trust our Lord no matter the outcome. We are so grateful to all of you. We know that so many people loved these babies too. Family, friends, and strangers–you all gave your earnings, your gifts, your time, your prayers, your encouragement, all to see these little ones have an opportunity to continue their little lives. We all have been mourning. We thank you all again for loving our babies!
We received our final Beta# a little while ago. It was 83. Dr. K wants me to stop all meds since our numbers have dropped. This means that we have already lost our little ones or will very soon.
I have been so blessed to be these sweet babies’ mother even for a very short time. They were loved by so many people. I have so much to write and share and I will sometime soon. Know that we are grieving, but have great hope in our Lord and His perfect plan for our lives and the lives of these little ones. Please know that your comments, texts, and e-mails, have helped encourage us through the last week. Thank you for your continued prayers for our family during this time.
My hCG went from 133 to 143 in 48 hours. I should be doubling every 48h. Dr. K said this does not look good, but stay on meds and see what Friday’s test says.
I was ready for the call all day. I have been on cloud nine since Friday! I even peeked in the maternity section while out shopping with PookieBear this weekend. : )
The call just came right before 4:00. My Beta number a little more than doubled from 62 to 133, but should have quadrupled. I have to retest on Thursday. I was not ready for a phone call like that. I wasn’t.
Please pray for the Lord’s will and our little ones. Thank you.