Monthly Archives: August 2011

So Tomorrow Night It Is!

The baby is healthy and thriving and my health is good. We are at peace with the decision the doctor is making and understand the “whys” and know that it is the right thing to do. So, we are checking into the hospital tomorrow night at 8:00 to begin the induction. Baby Mudpuppy Robison should make his/her entrance into this world sometime on Friday! We appreciate the prayers. Also, if you would, please pray for BooBear. She started running a 102.4 fever at lunchtime today. We are needing to find new child care arrangements with this new twist : ) I will update soon!!

A Sign?

I have my doctor’s appointment this morning. My bag is packed, the kids’ are packed, Rhea is somewhat caught up on sleep, the laundry is caught up (again), and lesson plans are completed. Now, to have a baby!

There are only a couple of people who know what I am about to share. In fact, I was not going to share this on the blog, but only in a private journal. That plan changed  this morning…

Backing up, I have shared that I have an autoimmune blood clotting disorder. I had six miscarriages before it was figured out, but now we know. And now I am on blood thinners during this pregnancy. This health situation has put me in the position to where I will need to have a hospital birth. Now I am grateful for hospitals, medicine, and the expertise of the medical field, but here is my struggle.

Rhea and I are being responsible by having our child in a hospital to be there in case my blood doesn’t clot after the birth. Our midwife, from the beginning, said this is what we should do and we trust her. Sure, I found another midwife who would do a homebirth, but Rhea and I trust our midwife who delivered PookieBear.

So, at every check up, the baby is great, my BP is great, my amniotic fluid is great, and my placenta is healthy and thriving, so why induce? Why can’t I just go to the hospital when “it is time” and have our baby? Why do Rhea and I have to fight so hard to be “allowed” to go past my due date (because I always go past my due date). Why does my age play in to this? I have already had an uncomplicated home birth in my forties. My blood clotting disorder isn’t even in play because there are no signs of the medication having effects on my body or to the baby with my weekly screenings. However, the doctors tell us that the chance of having a stillborn baby increase after 39 weeks with women with my condition. Well, yes, if they are not being monitored and closely watched, which I am.  I have never been induced or had a c-section and this new reality that the OB is presenting is tough for me to process. I need to say here though that we really like my OB and he is conservative on so many issues of pregnancy. He is experienced with my condition and quite level headed and patient.  I am never rushed when I see him. We just butt heads on induction. Rhea and I have been visiting with my midwife to find the right herbs and home remedies to try to do all that we can to help my body be ready earlier than it normally is ready for the big event.

The adoption system whether domestic or foreign is full of red tape and battles. Our medical system in our country is as well. Rhea and I even learned yesterday that our family pediatrician of 11 years, along with his colleagues, has taken a stand and will no longer see any patient who has not been fully updated on all vaccines. I wonder what it will all be like for our children when they have their children?

So, I have shared the one and only anxiety/fear that I have going into this labor and delivery, being induced with 2 different drugs and the doctor breaking my water prematurely. Yes, I completely trust our Lord to guide me through this. I do, but I am weak at times I will admit and truly keep giving this fear up to the Lord daily and even several times throughout the day. This struggle has added one more challenge in this entire adoption process. All of which have drawn Rhea and I closer together and have drawn us even closer to the Lord. We know this is all for our best and our good.

I focus on my husband, the kids, and last minute nesting, but once those contractions start up, I think about it again. Then the contractions subside and I go on. As I approach my appointment in a few hours I fight it all over again.

Well, I was walking Rhea & D-man out as they were going off to work together this morning, when something caught my eye in one of our flowerbeds. It was still dark as my guys were leaving for the day, but I saw something white on one of my gardenia bushes. No way! Not only are we having the worst drought and heat wave in who knows how many years, but my gardenias have already bloomed for a second time this year (which gardenias do not do). I asked Rhea if that was a gardenia I saw. He walked over, picked it, and handed it to me with a smile. He knows gardenias are my favorite flower God created and he knew I was starting to get anxious this morning about my appointment. There are no other visible blooms, buds, nothing on that gardenia bush or any of my other ones. There is this one lone fragrant flower. So, it takes a little ol’ flower to finally straighten me out? Yes.

Rhea and I hugged good bye and as I walked back in the house to put my special gift into water and take a picture of it for our child’s baby book, I thanked God for His kindness, His protection over me and the baby, His loving grace and mercy, His patience with my foolish ways, and for His creation, and specifically for sending me such a beautiful and perfect gift this morning. I am no longer anxious. My focus is not on the medical system, my doctor’s wishes, or the details of what will happen. I am focused on my God, our family and the wonderful, beautiful, moment when our precious baby who the medical world said would never make it, will be in our arms. Our baby, out of a freezer where he/she sat for 12 years, adopted and transferred to my womb, to our family, for the last 8+ months, is now ready to come into the world to be raised to know the One who created all things, Who’s love is everlasting, and who gave His only Son for His people. We serve a mighty and holy God!

22 And He said to His disciplesFor this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat ; norfor your body, as to what you will put on. 23 “For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24 “Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap ; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds ! 25 And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span ? 26 If then you cannot do even a very little thingwhy do you worry about other matters ? 27 Consider the lilieshow they grow : they neither toil nor spin ; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnacehow much more will He clothe youYou men of little faith ! 29 “And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying. 30 “For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek ; but your Father knows that you need these things. 31 But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you. 32 Do not be afraidlittle flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom. 


Luke 12:22-31 NASB (emphasis mine)

The Window is Getting Smaller!

I am either days away from giving birth or no more than a week & a half away from giving birth!

The appt. went well. Amniotic fluid levels have not changed and are in the high normal range, baby is still head down, baby is active and my BP looks great. Then there is “the dreaded check”…He told me I was 1cm and definitely thinning.

I am to come back next Wednesday for my 39w check up. If I am at 3cm, he will put me in for an induction that night. If I am not a 3 yet, he will schedule me for the following Wednesday. On top of that, he is on call for all of the Labor Day weekend if I happen to go into labor then.

I have given birth 4 times. Each time I have not gotten to 3cm until hours into labor and then I go from 3-10cm  rather quickly. So, knowing that, I am focusing on the after Labor Day date. Though, I will let you all vote if you’d like! Remember, the earliest I have gone into labor with any of my kiddos has been 41wks 3days.

It just is so amazing we are finally here! We will actually hold our little one so very soon!

<a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/5455436/”>When Will We Go to the Hospital to Have Mudpuppy?</a>

postponed appointment until tomorrow

The doctor’s office called this morning to reschedule my appointment I had for today. I set it for next Monday. A couple of hours later, the phone rings and my doctor insists on squeezing me in tomorrow. I assured their office I wouldn’t mind waiting until Monday, but I was told “nice try” by my Dr. and I go in tomorrow at 10:00 for my weekly u/s, NST and “check”.

Unless there is an “emergency”, I don’t see him putting me into the hospital being that it is Friday and he is not on call this weekend. I will update after I get back.

Seriously!?!

This is our local forecast for this coming Friday:

Day Night

Partly Cloudy
High
108°F

Precip
20%

Wind: From NNW at 6 mph
Humidity: 46%
UV Index: 10+ Extreme
Sunrise: 6:56 AM CT
Avg. High: 93°F
Record High: 101°F (1951)

Clear
Overnight Low
75°F

Precip
0%

Wind: From NE at 4 mph
Humidity: 48%
   
 
Sunset: 7:53 PM CT
Avg. Low: 72°F
Record Low: 61°F (1966)

Head Down It Is!

Yes, Mudpuppy is head down, though I was told the head is high and I still have a lot of room for the baby to flip and move, so we will pray gravity does its job.
NST went well and the doctor checked me. He said I wasn’t kidding that my body liked to hang on till the end. My cervix was closed tightly. We discussed that if everything continues to look this well, He may let me go in the day after Labor Day (40w 2d) for the induction. That would be a week later than originally planned! I am excited by the prospect because I have never gone into labor before 41 weeks and this new date would be closer to when my body would be ready.

Well, now to keep nesting!

What I Will Miss & A Poll for You

It’s funny, I haven’t wanted this pregnancy to end. I know it sounds strange, but those who are close to us understand. I have been savoring every kick, jab, long-lasting bout of hiccups, and even the strange way this baby likes to rest his/her  bony parts on my sacrum (can we all saw OUCH?).  I will share a list of the things I will definitely miss and will soon forget if I don’t record it. Trust me, so many time during this pregnancy, I have said to myself  “Oh yeah” when something happens that always happened when I have been pregnant before, but I definitely forgot about it.

I will surely miss:

  •  The changing of positions to keep us all on our toes this last month. We continue to always remember how this precious baby was the one who we were told by many doctors would not survive and now Mudpuppy is the most active and busy baby I have ever carried. “But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong” 1 Cor 1:27
  • Dreaming of what our baby will look like. Though we have been told by more than one u/s technician that this baby has a lot of hair, I love to think about what precious God-designed features I will be gazing at so very soon. 
  • Our other children, including our 16 year old, running to feel the baby when it is moving and kicking.
  • Our sixteen year old giggling like a child when he feels the baby’s hiccups. He just thinks that is so “cool”
  • Having to change my shirt at least once a day because my belly has hit a counter or I spill something on myself. Oh, but wait, I will still have to change shirts because of baby spit up huh? 
  • The second trimester energy level. I got so much done. I never, ever, have that kind of energy unless I am pregnant in my 2nd trimester?
  • Cuddling & reading stories to the kids while they have their hands on my baby belly.
  • Rhea talking to the baby each night before bed. Rhea can settle down Mudpuppy so quickly with his voice. 
  • Not feeling guilty for walking by something on the floor instead of taking the time to bend down and pick it up.
  • Not feeling guilty if all I am able to pull off for dinner is sandwich night.
  • PookieBear as my “baby”. I am treasuring these last couple of weeks with her being my little one. 

So, if I had posted this last week. The post would end there, but now that I am a couple of days away from 38 weeks and know that we are less than 2 weeks away from our induction, I have noticed something. Where, last week, I never wanted this pregnancy to end in so many ways, now I remember how these last couple of weeks, God transitions a mother into the “Nevermind, I am ready to have this baby” stage! So, while I reflect on the list above, I know that the Lord is preparing me for labor and delivery as I will not be missing any of the following things that have become “issues” this last week.

  • never-ending nightly heartburn and stuffy nose, lower back aches, the huge effort to get up from a sitting position, and a baby’s precious little head pushing up against my lungs & diaphragm causing shortness of breath. 

Yes, I do not complain about any of these, because every step of this pregnancy I treasure through the tough stuff too, but God definitely is preparing me to let go of the pregnancy phase of this child’s life and look forward and embrace the upcoming birth of our precious baby.

Tomorrow is our next appointment and u/s. and have decided on the baby names. During family worship last night ,it was such a sweet moment to hear the excitement of the kids as they can now put names to their Mudpuppy!

Here are two polls for you. You can guess the sex of the baby and also what position you think the baby will be in at tomorrow’s ultra sound.

<a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/5431860/”>Mudpuppy asks: Do you think I am a boy or a girl?</a>
**above post edited (8/17 9:12 p.m.) b/c a dear EA buddy pointed out I used “his” in the first paragraph. I fixed it to say his/her, but just so you know Rhea & I have NO idea if our baby is a girl or a boy! Your guess is as good as ours!

<a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/5431872/”>Mudpuppy asks: What position do you think I will be in for tomorrow’s ultrasound?</a>

Dear Mommy, Daddy, & all my Caring Doctors,

Dear Mommy, Daddy, & all my Caring Doctors,

I am having fun keeping you all on your toes! I am glad Mommy’s appt went well today and that she is healthy and still on schedule for induction at the end of the month. By now, you have all learned that I like to flip. I like to flip a lot actually. So much, that it is fun to watch all of your faces each week when you see me in a new position on the ultrasound screen. It is fun to try out new positions to find just the right comfy spot. I like this one so far a bit better than others. Though it has only been a couple of days and I tend to change positions several times within one week. I know this is not your favorite position Mommy for me to be in, but hey, it’s better than the transverse position I was in last week huh?

So, I am thinking I should get a 10.0 from the judges for this great pike position off the diving board? Don’t you?

If you remember in the ultrasound, I was in perfect pike position with straight legs and had my arms wrapped around my ankles. You guys should have seen your faces! I am glad you are not concerned Dr. M and realize I am just having fun. I will do my best to be in the position you want me to be in on induction day. I heard you say that you will physically move me with a procedure called a version if I do not behave on induction day.  Mommy, remember to drink more fluids. It is over 105 degrees out there! I can’t wait for our next appointment. Anyone want to guess what position I will choose for next Thursday?
Much love, Your sweet & busy baby, 
Mudpuppy
p.s. Tell my siblings I am sorry I was not in a position for pictures today. I will try better next week. : )

It’s a…

’bout time I posted huh? (That title was pretty mean wasn’t it?) I will not write a book about everything that has kept me from blogging, but I assure you, most of it, has been good! Our family has had some struggles with illness here and there, the dishwasher went out, PookieBear fell and knocked her two front baby teeth pretty hard (though they are still staying put), and Rhea has been swamped with projects/work and has not been home too much. All that aside, God has been faithful and we are getting so very excited to holding our sweet baby in a few weeks.

The other day, Rhea shared that, to him, giving birth to our baby is like going to Russia for that second trip to pick up your adopted child and bring him or her home.
Our first trip through embryo adoption was to go meet our child in Dallas where we had the frozen embryo transfer procedure. We “met” our children under a microscope that sat in a sterile and secure incubator. Rhea and I were able to look and see the 3 of our 6 adopted children who had lived through the night. It is a moment in time that goes far beyond hearing we were chosen by a placing family, and far beyond a positive pregnancy test. Time stood still as Rhea and I marveled at what God was doing amongst the office full of reproductive intervention. Three precious babies who had been frozen in a tank in a dark room since March of 1999 were now under a microscope in a warm incubator ready to be moved into a natural, God-designed environment where babies should grow.

Jumping forward from that December morning, we are now approaching the birth of the one baby who God chose to continue to grow and live in our family.  We are three weeks away from that “second trip”, as Rhea shared, to bring our child home with us to shower with love and raise him/her in the admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).

These last few weeks, I have been to the hospital for numerous doctors’ appointments. All is well, just the typical high-risk monitoring one must undergo when one has a blood clotting disorder. The blessing of weekly, doppler heartbeat checks and ultrasounds has been actually a joy to hear and see each week. We pray to share our adoption story as God leads us as we come into contact with people while we are out and about, while in waiting rooms, and standing in line at the store. We always have at least one of our children with us and they are able to witness and sometimes participate in these encounters with others.

Yes, embryo adoption is not a type of adoption that many people have heard of, but our family is saddened when the door to share our experience is halted before we can even get to the topic of EA. The reason the conversation never seems to get to EA? Time and time again, the conversations never get past the following questions:

“How many children did you say you already have?”
“Was this pregnancy a surprise?”
“So, you really wanted more children?”

Then the one I got not too long ago…  “Are all of them from the same marriage?”

Okay, if all that is not sad enough, the last 2 out of 3 of these conversations happened with women in their 60’s-70’s.  A generation, I supposed would smile upon larger families. As we teach our children that each child is a blessing from the Lord, they continue to hear the world tell them something so very different.

So many women who read this blog, have struggled, or continue to struggle with infertility. They pray that they will have children. They will treasure every kick, hiccup and pain of pregnancy if God so chooses this for their lives. I have done that very thing this pregnancy. EA was not the adoption road we originally took, but God led us to it and we are so grateful.

So, tomorrow, I will be back in the waiting room for another ultrasound appointment and NST. At any time, I could be sent across the hallway to go to L&D. Am I excited? yes. Is there a part of me that does not want the pregnancy to end yet? yes. And just for the record, I don’t think Mudpuppy is ready either! He/she continues to flip and flop into a new position every day. Seriously! In the last two weeks, this baby has been breech, transverse, head down, transverse, breech again, and now, this morning, I can tell the baby is transverse again. This baby is certainly getting more exercise than me. : )

We were blessed this weekend by our church family with a beautiful baby shower. This baby is so loved by so many who have traveled this road with us. They, too, look forward to meeting our precious one in a few short weeks.

Thank you all for texting and emailing and staying in touch these past six weeks I have been out of touch. I plan to keep you updated as we approach Mudpuppy’s BIRTHday.

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